Colorado Coach Diary- Day 95

Today was met by some student angst over Phillip Roth as our chosen author. Due to his popularity, I wanted the class to experience some real college literature. I was commanded to read Goodbye Colombus as a college freshman. I was entrenched and read many of Phillip Roth novels. In time, we will study many other authors and writers. Roth also wrote for magazine and other publications. Roth is a strong part of the American literature culture. Roth transcends common threads of racism, religion, conventionality of many cultural aspects of our society, and better than anyone looks back and questions his selfhood amongst his community. I want our students enraptured to read Goodbye Columbus in one or two settings; and crank a self-made book report without AI. 

Smitty came over during the Mandy backyard date. Mandy and Smitty enjoyed one another immensely. Both felt I was treading on thin ice by using Roth as a featured American author. I felt it was like our 2 QB offensive attack. When we started the new Carpet Bombing or Rocky Mountain Arsenal Offense, the players and assistant coaches were in disbelief. I want the simple “Ambush” offensive scheme to resonate. Our offensive and ball handling skills improved immensely. The team enjoyed being innovative and different. Many players were involved instead of the rote famous QB situation; and then there is everyone else. A QB on Tremby’s team will not obtain the best QB stats; but has wins beyond the competition. 

Smitty was gaining advice from Mandy regarding the office romance that has its ups and downs. Mandy instructed him to either develop the relationship or venture back to strictly employer/employee status. Most relationships as adults need to advance and not tread water. This was an enlightening discussion by my girlfriend and neighbor. I loved it. The food was perfect; and the kids played until the backyard barbecue table was set. It was a fast supper for the kids; and back to playing in the backyard before bedtime. The homework had been completed. After darkness set in, baths, and then Harry Potter read by Mandy. The kids highly enjoyed her reading the wizardry writings (genius). 

Mandy had an early streaming meeting as we parted. She then asked me where the relationship was going? I somewhat expected this question since we are compatible. I answered that I was serious, we kissed, and then decided for a Denver rendezvous this weekend with grandparents babysitting. I feel very good and warm regarding Mandy. If we marry, I have already had the eye test with our kids. She loves them; and I love the relationship. Everything fits. I need some sleep. 

We all struggle in life at times. Perhaps struggling is equal and we all deal with varying situations differently. Life stressors place us close to the functional line. If one drifts below the functional line because of stress, aberrant behavior, job losses or failure occurs, and relationships become negatively impacted with accelerating financial woes. Thankfully, I have overcome much of the expected grief and have dealt with Janae’s passing reasonably well. Mandy discussed that situation with myself; and wanted to know if I was ready for a permanent relationship. Extended severe grief with behavioral aberrancies such as depression are common. I have my low moments while dropping kids off at functions, observing other moms with their kids, and sleeping alone. Football and sports along with the kids’ school and activities has maintained my conscious. Subconsciously, I know I am still suffering to a degree. The life coach has helped immensely; and she feels it would be good for myself to have a long term opposite sex partner and eventually marry. The situation must be nearly perfect. I do believe I have that in my life now. I do not want to endlessly date. Somehow, women in young adulthood looking for a partner seem to feel I have looks and I am a good catch (social media stuff). Colleagues, friends, peers, and neighbors anticipate that I am going somewhere up the ladder within sports. I honestly do not know what to do about many of these offers; and they keep entering my mailbox and computer. 

My biggest concerns are my kids (Janae and my prizes). The kids are incredibly strong through losing their mother. They have been fabulous with myself; and appear to get that we are all grieving together. Yet, we all have one another. We will see Janae in our next life. My 100% goal is to provide love and parenting to my three boys. The boys mean everything to myself. I told Mandy that occasionally I have mini-flashbacks; and could almost cry over the events of Janae’s metastatic cancer diagnosis and eventual brutal clinical course. Mandy understands this quite well; and does not feel this is a weakness. Mandy asked me about my background check on her. I informed her that I do not intrude into privacy. Mandy admitted that as a Williams College student she was involved in a stunt by helping to dig a large B into their rival Amherst’s football field. The Williams Dean of Students discovered who the culprits were and disciplined them by requiring us to repair the field in front of Amherst faculty and students. This is still on the social media platforms – though buried deeply. I replied that I wish that was the least of my pranks. Mandy replied that she already knew about the panty raids (a thing of the past) that I participated in at Northwestern in Chicago. That was embarrassing to get caught! Goodnight. 

Our English, Literature, and Composition High School class has resoundingly responded to the Phillip Roth assignment by reading Goodbye Columbus and then mastering a non-AI book report. The short story was published in 1959; and engendered massive discussion amongst the students about the book’s topics, writing in the 1950s, and Roth himself. I loved the in-depth class discussions and book report writings. I reiterate that writing is not a lost art. One can generate prose and writings of all kinds from IT engineering; however, it is not yourself writing the piece. There is no satisfaction in copying a piece that the internet produced. Most students agreed; and many scholars within the class wanted to read more Roth this summer. I believe I achieved some literary enlightenment from our class. Only one student brought up her mom as detesting the works of Roth; but the student was allowed by her parents to read Goodbye Columbus. I received no rebuttal from teacher colleagues or administrators. I feel I have progressed our class by the end of the semester into markedly enhanced appreciation of English and Literature. The book reports were required cursive; and the writing legibility is steadily improving. I could not be happier for my class. I am in my academic element.  

Smitty arrived over late for a beer after the kids were tucked in with an alarm should help be needed. We shared a couple beers and Smitty was so happy about Mandy. Smitty asked several poignant relationship questions; and I replied the relationship was evolving. Both of us were enjoying one another. The partnership with Mandy and myself was transforming positively; and we have become closer weekly. Smitty wished he had such a situation with his on and off again relationship with a coworker. Smitty also mentioned that this was the second time around for both parties; and both of us have major commitment concerns. I replied that life was tough; and if it was not right for one party, then it is not right for both parties. The relationship or partnership must ascend and be fruitful. If not, it is time to move on. 

The talk between us two guys ended in football discussions about my alternating blitz packages – keeping offenses confused about blocking responsibilities. The day of lining up and facing your opponent with blocking and tackling schemes is gone. Trickery, fakes, blitzes, changing from man to zone defense pre-snap causes mass confusion on offensive blocking, pass routes, and QB timing. I pride myself equally on the defensive coaching side of the ball. Smitty wants me to stay in the neighborhood forever because of our small guy talks and kid friendships. Smitty is probably right!

Today was enlightening in the classroom and now helping with the golf team. I discussed fundamental swing dynamics; and said swings deviating substantially from Ben Hogan’s 5 Lessons of golf were doomed to failure. Ever student received a copy of the book and is required to read and study the book over the next week. I will be in golf camp with the team 2-3 training sessions per week. I love the game and teaching youth. I will play some holes and an occasional round with the golf team at Colorado Sports Academy High School. I prefer the practice tee and chipping and putting greens with learners. There is fabulous potential in many of these youth golfers. I was adamant regarding non-cutting of kids for all of youth sports. I want our kids playing; and our kids will perform fundraisers for balls, clubs, and green fees. I do feel our team needs not everything handed to them. I want parents involved on the golf team and through fundraisers. We will procure money from many sources because golf is an expensive sport. The coaches are on board with many of my ideas. I instructed the kids that it is yourself v the golf course. It matters not what your opponent scores. We need as a team and individuals to conquer the golf course. Our home course is the nearby USAFA. We have already completed a deal to keep youth golfers playing nearly daily. The course is extremely picturesque against the Rocky Mountains. I only saw skyscrapers on Chicago golf courses – incredibly crowded. 

The kids enjoyed 45 minutes of Harry Potter before bedtime. The wizardry becomes intense with each page of the book. Jaiden appears to understand myself. This is an advance over the pictures within the book. Jaiden does not fall asleep until his brothers have crashed. Eventually, they all fall asleep while I am reading. I have the three of them in one room presently; but plan on separate rooms when the fighting begins (soon). My kids seem happy. The oldest Josh is pushing me into a proposal for Mandy. I said I am considering it. We talked about the responsibilities of a new mom entering the house and becoming like Janae. Josh stated I would have it easy if Mandy helped with dishes, wash, house cleaning, and nanny pickups. We will get to that point in time; but I am trending with courtship presently. Josh asks how long is courtship? We finally resolved to inform Josh immediately when and if I proposed marriage to Mandy. Josh wanted to know ahead of time. We discussed potentially having more children; and he was quite excited about more siblings. I remarked to him that Mandy wanted 3-5 children. That would make the Tremby family large – a baseball team. 

The final discussion with my youthful first grade son was possibly moving. He was quite rigid in not wanting to move because he just moved from Chicago. Josh has many friends and loves the neighborhood. We both concluded that we loved our plight in North Colorado Springs. Life is leaning positively for our family. We have worked hard for proper schools, involvement, and my job and coaching roles. We would dislike our family to be miserable despite having more money. These are strong family issues to contemplate over time. I love that my kids are healthy and we have great life options. We will sleep well tonight. 

Summer is just around the corner. I am planning flag football for the team with 7on7 practices. We have many teams throughout the state that want to play Colorado Sports Academy High School. The opportunities to improve in all areas through the summer are plenty. We have many kids transferring into our school from New Mexico to Wyoming. There is a myriad of issues with regionality, tuition, home address, grades, and living situations. The athleticism of many footballers is immense. The youth football team wants to improve, win, and learn more fundamentals. Our high school is quite fortunate in now having a stellar reputation. My top 2 assistant coaches are gone through head coach recruitment from excellent programs. I was extremely excited for the coaches and families. They were highly deserving.

I woke up early today with a light alarm. A well-paid football podcast wanted me as their featured coach. It was tremendous fun discussing football history and many of our offensive and defensive plays. I reiterated my stance of having my best players on the field during competitive football in all leagues. The 2 QB backfield set generated immense chatter from the listeners and lead podcaster. The talk discussed injuries, fatigue, experience, and innovation. I flatly held that many football theories are false. Quarterbacks with ability holding clipboards, running similar plays that were developed 100 years ago, and inability to take advantage of offensive or defensive weaknesses and confusion were my sticking points. One caller mentioned that if 2 QBs became injured, a near forfeit would be inevitable. I responded that we have 3 other QBs who also play flanker, wideout, running back, and corner. The lower string QBs are repping as much as the first string; and play backfield in game situations. The podcast was extremely entertaining for myself. We will perform another football podcast shortly. 

Mandy called in an anxious mood. She was confronted by her parents, friends, and family about our relationship. They all seemingly love me after we have met and interacted. She was blunt and stated that many in her sphere of influence state because of my widower status and social media chatter, that I would linger in our relationship. Mandy was concerned about the permanence of the relationship, where it is going, love, and what next? I was spellbound, stunned, and speechless. Every guy envisions these moments in time are coming. Succinctly, I reiterated love by stating that I had very strong feelings of affection, care, and attachment. I did not want to date forever; and I was intending to bring some matters to our attention soon. Mandy was relieved, stated she loved the kids, and long term wanted to embark on having children herself. We had not arrived at this juncture yet in the relationship; and many things can be overcome (Catholicism v Judaism). Mixed religious marriages are perhaps a cultural roadblock to marriage a couple of generations prior. I mentioned that our relationship transcended religion, social media platform jabbering, occupation, and outside influences. Mandy mentioned that if the offered coaching opportunities were where I wanted to be, then she was accepting. I may not sleep this evening. We hung up with an: “I love you.”

The day was highlighted by myself with a “wake-up’ call about my relationship with Mandy. I could not keep my mind off many aspects of our phone call last evening. I am now months from Janae’s death – nearly a year. Janae wanted me to move on, marry, obtain a great woman as a mom for the kids. We will see each other in our next life. I will grieve forever; but must move on for the sake of my children and myself. There is no perfect scenario about engagement. After not sleeping last evening, I realized I could lose Mandy. Women tire waiting for marriage proposals; and it is not fair that it is under my control. Mandy has provided immense cues that there is immense love between us and she wants to be part of our family. Gobs of issues need to be compromised and resolved. I will offer premarital classes or perform together on line. My life coach has felt strongly that I am ready for a marital relationship. 

Many couples do not go through the engagement formality and just enmesh themselves implicitly. On the other extreme is the prince kneeling in front of the princess; and asking the male father for their daughter’s hand. I tend to be not that dramatic; but it is respectful to ask the bride’s father. Modernly, I would ask both parents for approval. Symbolic aspects such as a ring can occur; but should be by bride and groom agreement. Diamonds are a big deal; and some women may dislike many styles. I am not an expert; though I know Mandy’s ring size appears average. I left Janae’s ring on her finger signifying our forever union. If I had Janae’s ring, I would not utilize it. I decided to finish my golf class followed by picking up kids where the nanny could not help. I will then have our back-up nanny work this evening. 

I called Mandy and said I would stop at her house after a required coach’s meeting at Highlands Ranch High School. Mandy said great and would have some wine and Hors D’Oeuvres. The symbolic meaning of a marriage proposal would be myself after school at the local jeweler purchasing Colorado’s gemstone (mineral beryl in aquamarine). The later engagement diamond cluster we can purchase together. I have positively decided to move forward and ask Mandy’s hand in marriage. There is much to do (many steps). I called Mandy’s parents and placed them on speaker requesting Mandy’s hand in marriage. There was exuberance and crying because they admitted that Mandy wanted this more than anything. We agreed to have a mini-celebration at their house this coming weekend. 

My kids were off to school and day care. I picked up the back-up nanny after purchasing the engagement ring with the Colorado Gemstone. It was wrapped beautifully; and the jeweler remarked this was a unique idea. She asked me if I had my speech ready and I said it would be: Mandy, I love you. Will you spend the rest of your life with me? I have got it down. After all the preliminaries and driving to Denver, 2 more coaching opportunities occurred. I kindly said I would contact them over the next couple days. I have not said no to anyone; but will start saying no to many great football jobs regretfully. I appreciate all the great offers. Now is not the time to discuss our 2 QB offensive backfield.  

I dressed between formal and informal and knocked on Mandy’s door. She said she was still getting ready, but come in. She wanted to know why I was early (sounding suspicious). She came out with a sharp short-sleeve blue summer dress. Again, she asked me why I was an hour early? I stared at her eyes and she sensed a Tsunami was occurring. I placed my arms around her and told her that I loved her forever. I asked her to marry me and spend the rest of her life with myself. She stared at me in happiness, cried, hugged, replied loudly yes, and then asked what was in my hand. She unwrapped the small case with a colorful meaningful bow tie and I placed the Colorado Gem Stone on her finger. Mission accomplished.