Colorado Coach Diary sports coach football coach football coaching

The 2 QB scheme has caught quite the interest – with some of the plays being shown on national sports broadcasts. I thought our defensive blitzing schemes were more innovative than the 2 QB offensive set. I am receiving a myriad of texts, phone calls, and letters regarding my availability – being termed an offensive football genius and many other lofty accolades. I know I am just a reasonably good high school football coach who made his mark by fooling opposition. The large offer from the SEC college team still stands; but they have been good regarding not being too pushy and demanding an answer. They came to me and I only replied that I would consider. Money forever with kids’ college and expenses as early adults would not be an issue. I am starting to “settle – in” within Colorado. If I choose not to take a bigger sports job I may regret it years later. Our kids are quite happy, settled, and finally beginning not to ask repeatedly about “mommy.” A new mom could enter the picture; but let us wait on life. 

I returned to school and am facing an unusual situation in the classroom. The minority students are claiming that there are not enough “minority” writings – especially after Shakespeare study. Colorado Sports Academy High School addressed this with myself. I mentioned that I would bring in readings and translations from the best Hispanic and African American writers – including Alex Haley. Haley was a Pulitzer Prize winner for Malcolm X biography and bringing Americans together through the fictional drama (Roots) in 1977 – tracing back his family for 7 generations. Our class will read both books, perform book reports and watch the Roots drama in class (lengthy). The administration mentioned that should solve all issues with a “white-only” basis for English and literature. I have watched Roots and Malcom X movies and features. The Black studies are excellent; and our class will be rejuvenated by having the experience. Haley brought to light many African American family issues through the books and screen productions. He was an amazing writer. 

Missy Bradford called and wanted to “go-out” for a beer on Friday night. I mentioned that I had games until 10 PM with the nanny staying late. I offered her to come to our house late and she accepted – since I need to get the nanny or baby sitter home as quickly as possible. Missy is obviously super-interested in myself; and it may be time for me to plunge into a relationship. I need to think. Goodnight. 

I awoke and obtained a stern conversation from a dad whose son in 4th string on our basketball squad. Louis is a transfer student this semester and is performing well in school. He has not played much hoops prior; thus, I am teaching him considerable. Dad obviously wants him on the first string. We discussed Louis’s strengths and weaknesses. I reminded his dad that high school hoops is competition; and not participation. I also mentioned that if we cut the team at 13 players, he might be in a mall. I am giving his son a major chance to play endless hoops; and want him to learn the sport for life. He may never play a varsity game; but at least this year he will know where he stands regarding his peers and the depth chart. Dad is highly interested; and I discussed that 1 child in 10 million starts on an NBA team. The goal with basketball is discipline, fitness, teamwork, and learning the sport for life. Dad felt good after the discussion. I do not mind dealing with parents – fully understanding where their child interests lie. A large percentage of dads in our society are not involved with their kids; and I would rather have dad involved than not involved. I also discussed not having a driveway hoop meant the family was not serious about basketball – because shooting hoops daily is required for the skill of basketball. Michael Jordan shot buckets before sunrise; but his neighbors did not mind because he was Michael Jordan. 

The class loves the Roots story; and other Colorado Sports Academy High School instructors are adopting it for their classrooms. Roots is an American Classic; and there has been nothing similar and as intense as what Roots exposed – from the original slave stealing to how well many slaves were treated and some emancipated. American history has its ugly moments; and Roots exposed the good and bad of the culture as we witnessed 7 generations of Alex Haley’s family. Though some of this was fictional; the ideas expressed made strong impressions on all the students. Considerable discussion was generated from the book and television drama we played in class. I felt Roots depicted society for many years in America (before our nation became a county and beyond). I love history amidst my English and Literature classes. 

Jaiden had an earache and recurrent otitis media (middle ear infection). The sub pediatrician for Alison Simpson DO mentioned that it did not appear that Alison would be returning to work at the pediatric clinic. Alison instructed myself that she did not want me calling or contacting her until she was better. Since I have not heard from her, I am assuming she is not in good health. She may be under considerable chemotherapy and having other treatments (immunotherapy). I feel that I should call or email; but I respect her condition. The sub pediatrician (who now may be the regular pediatrician), did a wonderful job on Jaiden’s ear pain and infection. Despite the tonsils and adenoids gone; the ear aches and infections have returned. We may need an allergist; but for now, the antibiotics have worked wonders. The phone rings after I tucked the kids into bed with Goodnight Mr. Moon. On the phone is Alison Simpson, possibly my girlfriend. I will be supportive and deal! 

Alison struggled to talk for about 20 minutes – stating she is at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota receiving complex chemotherapy. Her weakness, pallor, malaise, and fatigue as she describes are all self-evident. Advanced leukemia is surging; and her bone marrow was replaced with drug elimination and now a transplant from a relative donor. She is in miserable condition; and it readily shows through her weak voice. I offered a visit; and she says to remember the good times we shared; and there is not much hope for her. I talked to her mother who concurred. Alison appeared healthy, skied, and was a bright light at the parties. Alison was an excellent pediatrician and socially intriguing. I am at a loss for words; but knew enough from Janae to not sit still and offer support in any way possible. Alison wished she had told me about the disease before we had a few dates. She mentioned that she resigned her position as it is unlikely she will return to work or viable life. I am just blown away at the circumstances; and now understand why everyone at the pediatric clinic looked down and depressed when her name was mentioned. I will have to deal with the circumstances; and it will be a “thing” on local social media undoubtedly. Herb and Sherry Tompkins (former in-laws in Greenfield Village (Denver)), will bring this to me. I cannot wait. 

The Sporting News and some other publications want some play diagrams in their magazines. I offered to place these in coaching manuals and sports’ fans publications that are on line and in paper. I did not want to give away all the plays; but it appears what I do not provide will be improvised. On defense, the alternating and confusing blitzes come from all angles, require practice, and is very confusing to the offense. We have an “All-Out” Blitz that resembles a Tsunami; and variations that reduce the blitz to one person – where the play {based on scouting} is most probably our defense will confront. The defense has to more than match-up. A solid defense must not only win against the block, but be able to shed the block and make the tackle or stuff the run – allowing teammates to close. Man advantages on defense are critical as one play can decide a game. I do believe that most football people are interested in our offensive schemes to obtain advantages and scoring. 

Our 2 QB set (not always utilized) sets the dominant QB behind center or off to the side (where either back can receive a lateral snap). The lateral snap requires substantial practice and coordination based on reps and proper numbering systems – with the line and skill players all understanding where the play and its offensive advantages are attacking. The 2 QB set allows both QBs to pass and run, option, and handoff with reverses to one another for passes downfield or back to each other. Defenses are fortunate a when they obtain a no-gain or loss. Overwhelming defensive power and athletic advantages will surpass the offense occasionally, the 2 QB set must have the most athletic, strong, and field awareness football players in these positions. I do platoon the 2 QB set; and we do run conventional plays with 1 QB offensive schemes. The second QB can function as a wide-out, halfback, or flanker. When walking up to the line of scrimmage we note feat in the defense, we have an advantage on the play before the snap. This will bring more coaching offers – many of which I am reviewing this afternoon while the kids are outside in the neighborhood. 

The kids are having so much fun outside playing in this neighborhood. The games are continuous; and I feel like playing some evenings. I wonder what the kids would think if they knew we had an upcoming move to a larger city with a college or professional team. They would not be happy; but they would be accepting overall. The friendships at this age are fluid and not cemented when they become high school students (a very difficult move). Society is so mobile; and all jobs (not just football) are accepting of short tenures and moving to accommodate what is best for the individual and family. It is such that no job is secure; so, a coach or anyone else must always be looking up for the best opportunity. In my profession, locker or classroom accusations may occur. The guilty until proved innocence is the model. Sadly, the Denver coach who we nearly hired went through hell to accomplish his name clearing. He is forever scarred; and I do not know if he returned to coaching. I truly felt sorrow for this guy who had a stellar coaching record in Denver high schools. It required only a girl to falsely accuse him of sexual impropriety as a teacher and coach to ruin his career. And unfortunately, the claimant walks away without recourse. There are risks with every profession. 

The school is buzzing with many classmates wanting into our English and Literature classes. We are studying various ethnic writers and are dwelling on “Roots” by Alex Haley. Many questions of ethics of slavery and the causes and perpetuation have occurred. Modernly, it is tough to describe that slavery existed within our system; and how the founders dealt with that in apportioning house votes (the 3/5 rule for slaves – noting 2 % of slaves were white, 1% Indian, and 97^ Black). Freedom came from masters selling slaves into freedom – generally from Northern states. The Emancipation in all ways from slavery and poverty for all ethnicities is still ongoing; and will never end. Our capitalistic system of economics has winners and losers; but we all have a responsibility to treat impoverished families with support. The bible unmistakably states that we will be judged based on how we treat disadvantaged families. The English and Literature Class at Colorado Sports Academy High School has been enlightened by the story of Roots – though it has some fictional qualities in its final prose and film. I could watch and read the episodes repeatedly. 

Sherry Tompkins (Janae’s mom) calls and wants details on Alison Simpson. Thus, I inform her of the misfortune and inform her of the periodic dates with Missy Bradford. Herb and Sherry Tompkins are inviting me again to their house for a coming out of the Greenfield Village eligible gals. This is a floating quarterly party that attracts younger and elder people of money and fame. I grudgingly accept the offer; and Sherry says I might be surprised at the young gals attending. She has accepted to a degree that I am my own person and do know how to pick a mate. I wonder with Janae picking me how she felt. The Tompkins certainly love the grandkids; and have been very supportive with babysitting at the last minute. Janae’s respect demands that I respect the grandchildren family involvement and interactions. I talk to my Life Coach (NP Sally Swift) weekly; and she says go to the mini “coming – out” party at the in-laws. I might be surprised! I am off to sleep! 

My life coach suggested I concentrate on my kids, teaching, and coaching. It is obvious that these gals are on the rebound and need a relationship – even if not perfect. Love can be transcendent and fleeting. A few months after you are married and possibly onto more offspring, troubles can erupt. I was so in love in round 1 that round 2 may never add up to round 1. That is my biggest fear; so according to the life coach, I need to be picky (as should the girl). Few mature adults at this stage are looking for a short relationship or an escort to a ski party. They are thinking long term commitments. I am therefore stuck in having to sort things out with gals that are providing an excellent initial presentation (akin to a job interview – it is a marriage interview). If things are not what I want in a long-term relationship, I need to part ways (difficult, but necessary). Though we all can marry many varying opposite sex people, I will chance that the right person will hit me in the face (as Janae did in round 1). I need to do what is best for me; and not feel sorry or obligated to someone I have no interest in a long-term relationship. This stuff is tough; and though it would be nice to a mom for the kids – it is not a necessity. 

The athletic director position was insidiously relegated to another administrative coach during football season – as we advanced through the playoffs the superintendent did not want to disrupt me from coaching and teaching duties. My salary remained the same (small increase). And my endless hassles dealing with parents, transgender locker room stuff, drug and alcohol issues (though few), inequitable playing time, and the uncommon racial complaint have left my desk. I am into teaching English and literature with coaching football. Though I am coaching frosh boys’ hoops, I do not feel the pressure of a 5A football program maintaining its stature. I love the hoops coaching; and our teams have incurred success and immense growth. The student athletes have been fabulous; and I know that most will play hoops the rest of their lives in some capacity. Some of our team will play college (probably D2 or D3). 

The kids are doing well in school (Josh and Jake); while Jaiden is growing with his very own personality. The “mom” banter has quieted; so, perhaps we do not need a real mom if that does not enter my life. Sally Swift, the NP life coach, has directed my to not just go on dates; but make conscious efforts to envision yourself down the road with the dated gal as a life-long partner. I narrated that I would do the best job I could – spending time with an individual makes sense – but there is also a pseudo form of commitment occurring. This is so much more difficult than round 1. I will just deal.

Dr. Alison Maples (my pediatrician girlfriend who I have seen for weeks) called from the Mayo Clinic. She was nice, friendly, and sincere. Her honesty was amazing as she relayed that her leukemia treatment was not working well, exhaustion was immense, and she retired from her pediatric practice in Colorado Springs. Though she might return, Alison was mainly concerned about living. She mentioned that she missed me; and how much I meant to her. She understood what becoming a permanent partner meant with my kids. At present, she readily admitted her body could not handle three small kids (barring recovery). It was wonderful to talk to her; and I am at a loss as to the next step. Alison did not say move on with other relationships; but implied by her words and demeanor that she was not a long-term partner. I cried a small amount since I know what she has been dealing with (like Janae incurred for many weeks). There are just some diseases that cannot be arrested; and I have had strong relationships with two women that were so unfortunate. I queried traveling and visiting Alison; however, she stated that she was in poor medical health clinically. Visiting would not be a great idea since the disease and treatment have taken their toll immensely (lost weight, pallor, anemia, fatigue, and muscle wasting). 

The endless offers from college and now pro sports teams are in fluxing my mailbox and email. I am not certain of the next step since things are going well in Colorado. I have seen my name attached to the double QB set on some of the sports and football talk shows on radio, television, and internet. The comments have been mostly positive. A few sports pundits and coaches mention injuries to a second-string QB could be fatal to a competitive football team. I say phooey - because I would rather risk injury and win games than lose and have an excellent football back that can pass sitting on the bench all season. I expect both QBs to run; and in all leagues quarterbacks have running plays. Some teams are now experimenting with the 2 QB offensive set in the off-season with success. All teams have a qualified 3rd string QB – who I would not hesitate to place in the backfield. Interestingly, the Denver Broncos (not far from our house) are experimenting with the 2 QB offensive set. The advantages in play scheming and misdirect are immense. The defenses we played against using pro and wishbone offensive sets with 2 QBs in the backfield left the game dumbfounded. Generally, Colorado Sports Academy High School has now been placed on the map. Football players are wanting to play at our school – with the caveat of being a good student (required). 

Smitty stopped by for a beer and discussed the neighborhood, his passing romance with an office girl in his IT office, and his lawyer dealing with his former wife wanting custody of his kids (though she is insane and still in an asylum or state hospital). Smitty has been depressed; but is fighting so his kids do not have to deal with a severe bipolar mom the rest of their childhood. There is no person on our planet without some strong issues. We all just deal with life’s successes and low points. It is great our kids are playing together well. Spark, our new family dog, fits in well playing kids games. I am very fortunate to have a great kids’ neighborhood. Janae would have loved our neighbors and the surrounding kid environment. Perhaps she is watching. Smitty wants to discuss basketball plays; and how our frosh boys basketball team needs to press 24/7. I love it!

My day is busy with nannies because the regular nanny became ill. The sub nanny was out of town; so, I used Smitty’s nanny. The neighbors were more than happy to help as we have had some social interactions on back decks in the neighborhood. Janae would have loved this Colorado community. Again, I need to move on with my life. I keep grinding backwards over my wife. Janae instructed me to write my inner-feelings so the kids can read their dad’s diary when they become older. Fake feelings will be detected; but real sentiment will be truly meaningful. I am really beginning to enjoy the diary writing; as it provides a time of reflection. My life coach loves that I am writing down my sensibilities as close to daily as I can muster. Some days and nights I love to write because I am in a writing frame of mind with my deep thoughts ready to be transcribed from my mind onto my computer. I may never reveal the diary until I am on my death doorstep. Our kids may want to review this when I am not so concerned about what the family may think. Presently, there is zero that is shameful within the writings. Life is unpredictable. None of this would have occurred if I had not picked up Janae’s coat that caught the turnstile at Chicago’s Soldier Field. Amazing how she found me with my Manion High School Coaches Jacket insignia and probably no wedding ring (I am told gals review the hand prior to becoming interested). Janae admitted this to me later. All romances have a differing beginning; and serendipity is more common than uncommon in the union of male and female.

I have had to field complaints from the English and Literature class that we are too much into college level studies, excessive homework, and how is helping my future life. I informed the class and administration that I was preparing them for life as a business person in Hong Kong, communicating with a business over your plumbing contract, or yourself teaching 5th grade in Denver. The English and literature skills with phonics are critical to your future. Personal interaction, writing, and presentation of yourself in a relationship as a teacher, coach, parent, business partner, or engaging yourself to the opposite sex in a respectful manner is decisive. My bias is that everyone belongs in my class and should obtain a minor in English – be it trade school or college. I am always available by phone or internet if a student struggles. Colorado Sports Academy High School is not just about sports – it is student athletes from trainers to pole vaulters. Our school emphasizes academics. A student here for just football is in the wrong time zone. Our mission at our school is to graduate student athletes with honors – helping them to the next step in life. Colorado Sports Academy High School is not for everyone. High School here is work. 

Smitty called and wanted a beer to watch some hoops at his house with a brew. The kids were wide awake and had their homework completed. Thus, I treaded over to the neighbor Smitty’s house with some appetizers. We diagrammed some plays on the kids’ chalkboard; and I walked away with a different scheme off our standard 131 trapping zone press. The zone tightens when the ball comes to the corners or sides; however, I noted that bringing our deep cover #5 man up and veering toward the obvious throw – risking a deep pass and layup – may invite turnovers by the opposition. Presses are difficult if performed correctly. The offense is required to work double to score; however, the drain on our resources without a great bench is risky. Rick Pitino’s “94 Feet of Hell” wins basketball games. Smitty should probably be the frosh basketball coach. We discussed all the football offers; and I remarked that I was just trying to get through this season. I am scheduled to coach golf; but with family, kids, need for downtime, and perhaps dating, I may defer that obligation. I am dreading this Sunday’s social at Jane’s parents in Greenwood Village. Sport coat, tie, and shined shoes (the works) is required. The kids are coming also since The Tompkins as grandparents cannot stay away from our kids (I love it)! 

The day after the last frosh games was exciting. Many parents loved the idea of no cuts and our frosh team with > 50 players all playing. It is beyond intramurals because there is coaching. All the players have hoops in their driveways or access to a nearby basketball court. Grades are rising from our mandates – you cannot be on the team if you are less than a B average. Academics are the #1 focus; and thinking I am NBA material and do not need the education is a sin. I talk endlessly that NBA players with education have better court vision, know when to rest, understand their “go to” strengths, and work on weaknesses. Education makes basketball players adept and quick on their feet. Education is a life-long pursuit in all professions. I want the very best in all my players – whether they score 1 point or 30 points in a basketball contest. Ball skills are learned by having a basketball in your hands 24/7; or when not in school of sleeping. Many great ballers slept with a basketball. 

The” coming – out” party Sunday afternoon at Janae’s parents in Greenfield Village within Denver was interesting. The three kids (Josh, Jake, and Jaiden) had friends outside for play. The number of people from the upper echelon of Denver society was incredible (> 100). Everyone was dressed, the food was great, and I met many interesting people from all professions – including IT company CEOs, sports media, and wealthy neighbors. The Tompkins (Janae’s parents) ensured I met every eligible gal and their parents – many coming as a family. One gal who was shy caught my eye (Mandy Sagan). She was a friendly reserved 20-Something, gorgeous blue-eyed blonde with a killer smile.  Mandy was the Bronco cheerleader player coach. Her main job was ICU Nursing with a doctorate degree and head nurse position in a south Denver hospital. We conversed loosely; and her family chimed in about my football coaching. They knew we won the Illinois 5A Championship last year. They loved our football team story with an upstart (Colorado Sports Academy High School) capturing the Colorado 5A High School Championship this year. Mandy’s dad was a tremendous multi-sports player and fan. Both parents were nice; and Mandy’s brother was exceedingly friendly. 

Though Mandy was shy, she followed me around from a short distance and smiled frequently. Is that flirting? I do not know. And everyone at this Sunday social knew of my situation with three small kids and widower status (Janae’s parent ensured everyone attending knew beforehand). I do not think I am a good catch with three small kids (ages 6,4, and nearly 2). Perhaps there is some looks, structure, and character within me; but why would a gal want to inherit and be a step mom to 3 little kids. Love trumps all else; and initial appearances send signals between males and females. There were signals transferring between Mandy and myself. She is gorgeous, athletic, the right age, and apparently her family has dollars. I am a middle-class teacher and coach. There is wide socio-economic separation with me and everyone in this lush neighborhood of Greenfield Village. Janae obviously married down in socio-economic spheres; so, I am certain Sherry and Herb Tompkins informed everyone that somehow, they are my sponsors. I left the Sunday social with the kids late after talking to Mandy for an hour as everyone left. Why is Mandy not married or bringing a boyfriend to the occasion? I wonder if there were drugs, divorce(s), mental disease (she seemed shy but normal), or gay? I am certain Janae’s mom will know the neighborhood scoop. I am rushing to escape the typical storm in Larkspur with its golf ball size hail. Today was a grind; but overall, very good. I am glad I went to the Sunday social at Grandma’s house. 

Today, I received a call from a parent on the frosh basketball team. The mom stated her son was ingesting illicit drugs including fentanyl, cocaine, amphetamines, THC, and kratom. I asked how he was staying alive; and she responded that he has been in the ER twice with prolonged observation and detoxification. He is severely addicted and will probably die without treatment. She felt that basketball would potentially save him. I was shocked and dismayed that the student athlete had said nothing to the coaching staff about the drugs. Our team policy is to suspend for a week; and then dismiss from the team for adverse team behavior. The mom felt the basketball player would kill himself if he was released or suspended from the team. I took mom’s contact information down and said we would discuss this with the coaches and AD. I am certain I will receive a near unanimity opinion regarding releasing him from the team. Deep inside, we all know this is not the best way to treat him. The mother wanted the son admitted to a drug rehabilitation center; but he refused. The dad has left the marriage and a divorce is shortcoming. Mom has 3 other children – who are behaving well. My comments regarding dad stepping up and helping remain restrained. This is our society modernly – at least a substantial minority. I vowed to help this player in some manner. I will bring him into my office tomorrow; and we will talk. 

Every issue on an athletic team needs to be handled individually. There are some ground rules; and out freshman player has broken many. I will inform the coaching staff and the AD of the issues; and inform them of my wish for a short suspension, drug treatment ongoing, and maintaining a B average. I will inform mom of the battle plan. We all have issues; but these are serious. I will offer my treatment plan and state that our player (who has been moving up on the depth chart), needs to step up and obtain treatment or suffer the ill consequences of disease and potential death. This will not be easy. 

As I was driving home, the gal I met at the Tompkins Sunday social (Mandy) texted me and wanted to talk. I called her back and she was very nice and invited me to another social gathering at the Denver Jewish Community Center Saturday evening. The play is the history of Stephen Sondheim, the father of Broadway. Sondheim’s biggest hit was West Side Story’s music. Sondheim is my favorite; and the most beloved of all Broadway musical librettists. I said yes and Mandy stated she would meet me there or I could escort her with her providing me with the appropriate address (next to Janae’s parents – who probably have something to do with this date). Yes, this is a real date. The play is 2.5 hours and ends at 2030. I texted Mandy and stated I would pick her up at 5 PM. I asked if she would like to eat something before or after the musical. She invited me over to her house and I accepted – stating it would be dessert. What am I getting into again? It is time to talk to Smitty. Where is Janae when I need her? 

The kids absolutely love Monument, Colorado. They are performing well in school, have gobs of friends, have a nice puppy named Spark, and now only occasionally talk about mom. I will get through this and review this in years ahead as a sign of strength and resilience – but it is tough. The stories at night, birthday parties, skiing, and overall family enmeshment into the community has grown. The offers from colleges and some professional teams including Spring professional football (the UFL) have continued to grow. The money from the one SEC school is immense; and I would be set for life by accepting the offer. Money is not everything; but I have come to grasp that it is necessary for growth, investment, kids, college, retirement, and overall life’s needs. I am not guaranteed a position at Colorado Sports Academy High School – we have one-year contractual terms. Nothing is guaranteed in life. I discovered that with Janae’s illness. Now my three kids have a family; and I am the pillar for life. I need to make decisions based on what is best for my kids. Moving them into another city would be brutal; but they are young enough to withstand a new environment – unlike teens. My peers at Colorado Sports Academy High School know of my predicament and a boatload of opportunities with both the Illinois and Colorado State 5A football championships won the past two years. 

I have received a lucrative offer to begin a podcast of football plays. I am considering it; and Smitty has given me the thumbs up. It would be a simple podcast of football plays with the label: “My Playbook” by Coach Wilford Tremby. Specific features would be labeled: “First and Goal,” “Depth Chart,” and “2-Minute Drill.” The sports media has gone crazy over our 2-Quarterbacks in the backfield. Wildcat QB runs, side snaps to a passer, laterals followed by pass/run options have created havoc for our opponents (I love it). Soon, teams will catch us; and I will need to be more creative offensively. The 2 – QB setup is termed:” 2-QB set”. All plays off this standard pro-set include run/pass options and trickery. One of my favorite plays is the bootleg sprint option. If the outside linebacker or defensive end has the play contained, a simple optional flip of the ball to an opposite running QB allows not just a running opportunity, but downfield passing with appropriate blocking is repeatedly open. Two strong arms in the backfield with the 2 QB set is now being discussed at all levels of football. I love it; and it may make me some lifelong income. The media is calling it the “Tremby” offense. 

Smitty thinks Mandy is the real deal. He has already checked her out on social media; and she is clean (no drugs, dumps, psychiatric admissions, lost kids, or diseases). Smitty thinks this is a good match because she has already seen my kids and knows what she is potentially dealing with (a widower with three little kids). Smitty feels it is cool she invited you to her house on Day 1. I am not certain what this means; but my life coach (Sandy Swift – NP psychologist) feels I need to go with these nice potential relationships. I am a touch excited about this gal; but we will determine where this is going after Saturday evening. Time for bed! 

An article in a national sports publication was released today about Wilford Tremby’s 2 – QB set offensive attack. The sports writer termed the offense: “The Ambush.” I am receiving notoriety; yet, the writers have not witnessed us play or viewed the playbook (I will never promote our playbook float in public). The assistant coaches, players, AD, and fans love the 2-QB set – call it “The Ambush” – or any sports term you desire. The social media surrounding the article has my email box and ancillary Twitter, Facebook, Linked-In, and other IT communications flooded. High School plays that were successful towards the end of the season when we introduced the 2 QB set in the backfield are now all over the globe. I have players wanting try-outs. I have received everything from more job offers to marriage proposals (site unseen). I do not know what to discern from hundreds of comments, offers, and coaches wanting to purchase the playbook. The national podcaster wants a contractual deal that will pay me substantially because his site is supported by advertising. I will promote the site just by talking football. I am not certain what I should be doing if anything. There is a ton on my plate; and my three boys are understandably my main concern.

I will not sleep for a couple nights – wondering if I should accept a football job far away from Colorado that allows me to essentially have my financial life secure. There are serious nice girls I could bunk with and the kids have a “real” mom. Then, there would be more pregnancies, blending of step kids, and onward to complexities of life. Perhaps I was destined to be a widower. You cannot really date without the intention of moving the relationship forward – meaning a Super Bowl win (marriage). I can talk to Smitty down the block and my life coach forever and not come up with an answer. The general answer if you do not know what to do is to “stay-put.” I also have a career; and I could be fired over a misguided student accusation, bad season, or school board dislike. Church, God, prayers, and my surroundings will provide guidance to my future life. I am on-board with nothing but good options. People in the neighborhood, school, church, and public have been extremely nice to our family since moving. I would hate to leave north Colorado Springs. I am still thinking. 

The date with Mandy is set for Saturday evening; and many guys like myself are woefully unprepared. I need to purchase some semiformal clothes, a gift for the gal (possibly flowers), and purchase new cologne off Amazon – that is easy. There are multiple critical steps in dating; plus, I need to get a baby-sitter. Josh says I am dating a potential new “mom.” That is probably true; but I do not want to admit such things. I am a little nervous because I do like this gal – even though she is from Janae’s parent neighborhood. I do like her; and cannot worry about Alison or Missy; nor anyone else. The encounter was another serendipity because I did not want to attend Janae’s mother social mini-debutante social gathering on a Sunday afternoon. Leaving the kids requires dress, nanny, kid’s meals plans and homework complete, and dealing with Spark, the dog. I am going to bed – wish me luck. 

Today, I dealt with a ton from the student who overdosed. He finally admitted to a continuous flow of drugs, sales to support his drug habit, and other illicit behavior. We spent 90 minutes of my “teacher” time devoted to his miscues. I informed him of the policy; and rightfully he should be permanently suspended. In summary, his behavior was in part emanating from his parents’ ensuing divorce, not seeing his dad because he moved out of state, and break-up with a girlfriend. As coach and now father, I steered this student athlete into the ultimate “Land of Oz” if he improved with his deportment, grades, and became drug free. His suspension was one-week¸ a minimum B average was required on all tests and grades, and any illicit drugs or behavior would result in suspension for the basketball season. I will counsel him weekly; and the coaches, AD, and administration are all on-board with the treatment. We cannot cure the family situation. The kid needs a dad badly; and now wants me to be his dad. The mom is super-cute; however, that is only within my “guy” mind. She could potentially be a surface to air missile within a relationship. The mom will have a difficult time finding a new partner potentially because of her son’s behavior – who would want to engender this mess at home for years. Lust, relationships, romance, and family life are balanced by arrests, jail, drug treatment centers, and failure to ever launch. Colorado is stuffed with kids on the fence of life who are in their parents’ basement smoking pot 24/7.

Our team has had discussions from medical personnel and career professionals. Basically, THC lowers a student’s IQ 15-20 points and can result in dementia if smoked endlessly. Promoted as a cure-all for everything, marijuana becomes a modality of behavior encompassing your life – physically and psychologically addicting. THC has taken Colorado by storm; and is winning. The suspended student asked about THC use as a medication; and I said the Colorado Sports Academy High School can drug test. If a student athlete tests positive for THC, then they are suspended from the team. We are not allowing medical personnel to invoke or write “fake” scripts stating these students need this drug. Sorry, I told him-this is our drug policy (like alcohol with underage drinking). The talk went well; and I do feel this kid (Herby Smith) will respond positively. Herby Smith is moving up the depth charts in basketball – playing well in scrimmages and practices – how he does that with drugs I cannot discern.

The end of our talk with Herby Smith was discussing the baseline “Indiana” cut. There are variations of the cut beginning with a quick L cut to receive the ball in the lane and use a quick step back shot, baby hook, or drive with a reverse. If the defender is screened, the ball goes up immediately. If tight defense, then the baby hook, reverse, pivot, or pass out of the play is required. My favorite is to butt the defender near the basket after receiving an unexpected pass and self – cut with a dribble towards the basket for a jump stop or layup. If the defender is close, continue offensively to score and obtain an “And – One.” Practice with scrimmages and individual moves perfected in pick-up are needed. The Indiana cut move does not just happen. I left the meeting with Herby discussing the play in detail with a clipboard. I am not only his coach; I am his new dad. 

The date with Mandy went exceptionally well. We had lunch at her house – well prepared. She lives down the block from Herb and Shelly Tompkins (Janae’s parents). I know they had something to do with this now known assignation. Mandy Friedman is Ashkenazi Jewish, has gorgeous brown eyes and dark hair with a broad nose. Mandy was married for a few months and obtained a civil annulment. I am now Catholic; and Mandy knew more about me than I know about myself. Surprisingly, when we talked openly, she knew I was coming to the semi-formal Sunday afternoon social at the Tompkins, knew I was Catholic, knew Janae well, and studied my football records and playbook, and all the open internet/social media offers. Mandy was a captain Bronco cheerleader, ski instructor, prom queen, and was the president of Delta Zeta at Radcliffe College (Harvard’s sister school) – the top sorority known for a combination of looks and intelligence. Mandy, despite, the accolades, was well down to earth. She is a finance person for sports organizations such as the Nuggets and Broncos in Denver. She consults with many corporations and individuals regarding everything from real estate investments to taxes. Mandy’s first marriage was beset with her husband having unexpected affairs. He married his last affair. This entire sequence sent Mandy into mental decline for months – to considering quitting work, life, and ever having a partner male relationship again.

Mandy’s parents and family obviously wanted Jewish; but her last husband was the pick of the litter and failed. She respects her religious legacy and family; but does not own everything (including marriage) that tags along with Jewish tradition (marrying within the religion). I am a football coach and English/literature instructor. Why would she be attracted to me? I am woefully poor considering her family’s probable trust, her income, and household in Greenfield Village. Mandy is outgoing; but beyond that, this is on its face not a good match. She knows everyone in Denver and beyond. Mandy knows many NFL and college administrators. Underneath the print and off the playing field, Mandy is critical to economic sport financial success. Mandy can calculate in her head how many logo shirts the QB of a team will sell based on the team’s records and individual statistics. She became known for popularity through her cheerleading and discussions of financial remuneration with Denver sports teams. As a cheerleader, the squad was readily at all games, some practices, and many corporate events performing. This activity kept in shape; and shaped her future financial career. Mandy is the complete package. Why me? 

The night went well and a repeat date was in order. She had a great mini – supper and dessert at her house after the long Sondheim show. We talked incessantly during breaks as I had our Colorado Sports Academy High School literature classes study Sondheim religiously. Mandy wanted to know all about our kids, friends, neighborhood, and my work (assistant coaches, teachers, and players). She knew I was coaching a frosh basketball squad and wanted to attend some games (really). Mandy was quite open and frankly said she wanted a “real” guy, kids galore, and a positive marriage. I asked again why me? She said it was simple. She knew, respected, and competed against Janae at everything from volleyball to boyfriends. Janae made great decisions in moving to Chicago, latching onto me, and producing great kids. Mandy mentioned that I was on every social media forum with hundreds of young gals wanting a football coach type guy with common sense and killer looks. I was shocked, embarrassed, and overcome. Mandy said the world is ahead of you; and it may not be at Colorado Sports Academy High School. I left with a kiss and a date after the frosh game Wednesday after school – which she will attend. I am flattered! 

Smitty stopped over after supper and asked about Mandy. He was reading this on a social media platform that I was spotted at the Sondheim musical with Mandy Friedman. Now Smitty knows more about Mandy Friedman than I do. Smitty now states I have 3 solid girlfriends. Missy Bradford was a short fling, Doctor Alison Maples is possibly dying, and now Mandy Friedman (one date). Smitty and I talk after he lets it be known that his office romance that failed has been reinitiated. Smitty readily admits that this may not last; but it is holding and a life raft is not being thrown overboard. I want the very best for Smitty; and he will obtain a partner relationship and marriage potentially (blended family). Smitty wanted to know more about Mandy beyond the Bronco cheerleader, Radcliffe sorority legacy, ski instructor, and prom queen stuff. Smitty mentioned she was married before and incurred an annulment. Was Mandy grumpy or difficult? Thus, I told Smitty the openness, want of a family, Jewish heritage, and her financial career (MBA at Wharton School of Business in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania). Smitty was blown away; and said to plan an offensive attack she cannot refuse. Smitty said with my intuitive playbook, a white flag from her could come within 3 months. This is guy talk; and a couple beers exaggerated Smitty’s claims. He remains a good friend in guiding my life. 

School was intense today with some students struggling over common English grammar including sentence structure, adverbs, adjectives, comma placements, and flow of their writing with paragraphs inciting new ideas. I will be after school and have my assistants run the frosh basketball squad. Many teachers in prior years disregarded common English structure, phonics, and syntax. Learning where and when to capitalize a word is learned in the 4th grade; yet, many intelligent students project inadequate English fundamentals. As English and Literature instructor, I need to clear these hurdles and “make-up” for poor teaching preemptive to our high school class. I love this part of my life because I enjoy and know English and literature. I would hate to retire from teaching and just coach – though I am reviewing some high-profile coaching appointments with long healthy financial incentives. As Mandy stated, the world is in front of myself. I am nervous in a good way. 

The kids (Josh, Jake, and Jaiden) after homework and supper put on their swimming suits and traveled to the Woodland Park waterpark pool. This was excellent with a lazy river, water slides, and few people. It was wonderful. I bumped into an assistant basketball coach whom our frosh hoop team scrimmaged. We talked basketball while the kids were swimming and I held Jaiden (kicking). The Woodland Park coach asked which job I was reviewing and potentially grasping. Surprised, I informed him that nothing has been decided; and I may stay at the same job with Colorado Sports Academy High School. He was surprised; and I felt not taking the step into college or pro- ball was a career failure. I am back to the life coach, NP Sandy Swift, for some advice on dealing with social media, dating, and internet chatter. I need to set boundaries, enjoy the ride, be the best parent, and potentially find an appropriate new mom for these kids. 

I have embarked in my literature class some great writers of the past including from my list Homer from Ancient Greece (The Iliad and Odyssey). Geoffrey Chaucer (1343 – 1400) poems have influenced all our writings from England and theatre. John Bunyan’s (1628 – 1688) Pilgrim Progress was right behind the bible in sales – discussing religion from a Baptist perspective. Jane Austin (1775 – 1817) and her popularity was right behind Shakespeare with English novels. Hans Christian Anderson (1805-1875) wrote extensively children’s stories. Charles Dickens (1812-1870) wrote exquisite novels still commonly read and studied modernly. Herman Melville (1819-1891) wrote Moby Dick. Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) wrote War and Peace. Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) wrote poetry for the ages; and her sister discovered 2,000 poems after she died. James Joyce (1882-1941) wrote a collection of short stories that are revered in modern literature. F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote The Great Gatsby in his short life (1896-1941). George Orwell (1903-1950) wrote 1984 – still read and influential within literature circles modernly. The student can choose which author, read the manuscript, and file a complete book report. I love it. This is a semester project; and the class will thank me in years to come. 

Jaiden came down with bronchitis and RSV this morning. I was late to school with a sub teacher fill-in at the last minute thankfully. I went to the new pediatrician and he began antibiotics because of the fever.  Steroids, inhalation bronchodilators, and fluids were initiated in the office. We were at the pediatrician’s office for 4 hours. I was happy Jaiden was relieved. I am staying home and my assistant coach will coach the frosh hoop squad later today. I can observe my son needing a mom. I am adequate; but not the real deal. Kids need moms and dads. Somehow this is not right. Janae should not have died early from metastatic breast cancer. I am reliving the past and again need to move on. Coaching, teaching, and being a dad and mom are overwhelming. I am on the hot seat with girls, job offers, and the stress of making decisions. I love being busy; but this is inordinate. My life coach, NP and psychologist Sally Swift, seems to think I am fine and going with the flow. I could take a Southeast Conference coaching job tonight – because they are not waiting forever with large amounts of dough. Their football program needs to move on. I need to move on. Perhaps I should not have left Chicago; but Janae’s wish that I succeed in Colorado came true. I am in North Colorado Springs because of my former wife. 

New recruits for our program keep coming to our school. We have attracted the very best athletes; and should be competitive for the nest few years thankfully. I have 5 QBs on the depth chart for next year. They know I will play 3-4 players – with 2 on the field frequently. All QBs have read and understood our carpet-bombing offense (my term). Though the insinuation of killing innocent people and not military structures is immoral, fans, coaches, and players get the football meaning. I love it because like a hail storm, bombs can emanate from anywhere in our backfield. Carpet-bombing is not a pc term, but I like it. Bedtime! 

Mandy Friedberg called and wanted to know how Jaiden was progressing from his bronchitis and RSV. I wondered how she knew. Apparently, someone in the pediatrics office jumped on social media and reported our family’s illness. Though this is a HPPA violation and probably worth thousands, I do not have time to pursue the offender. The laws are in place for privacy protection. Sadly, privacy is offset via social media scourges. Mandy was innocent; and felt she needed to call. I thanked her and we are having a mini-date after the frosh game early Friday evening. I am certain that Mandy and I will be a topic on social media platforms; but so be it. The New World order is no privacy (zero). I am struggling to find a quiet place for my soul; and will keep searching. My order in life is: God, family, and then teaching/coaching jobs. Girlfriends are critical, but are in 4th place until they become family – then the girlfriend relationship becomes just below God. Prayer will get me through this difficult period. I do know the rosary; and I should say portions of it daily. I am still conjuring the reason of 10 Hail Mary’s with only one Our Father. I need to study the rosary. The 5 decades of the rosary require meditation from Mary (needed) and then a prayer to the real Father (not Jesus, the son). Perhaps the Our Father is such a strong prayer throughout all of Christianity that the prayer is beholden because it is by itself. Tradition within Catholics is phenomenal. Prayer, my life coach, and my kids will keep me strong. 

I received a phone call (though my telephone number is private) from an NFL assistant who is recommending me for a pro job on the coast. He has read about both the offensive and defensive schemes that Colorado Sports Academy High School runs. He loved what I termed “carpet-bombing.” The coach bragged that it was unusual with a not-so athletic team to win in Chicago and Colorado (two different football venues) a state championship two years running. I thanked him and he wanted to visit. I almost said yes; but then held off confirming due to: I need to think about this. I said place everything in writing on an email; and I would get back to him. He understood my position well. He was a wonderful guy I could perceive. This just adds fuel to my mind’s fire within my brain. I need to return to God, family, coaching/teaching, and place job offers down the list. Brewing on matters over days also helps; but I am a terrible decision maker until it comes to football play calling. I am quick on the next play before the last tackle has been completed. That is how my mind works. I wished my mind worked well with job offers and girlfriends. 

My students took on the semester challenge of the famous writers – historically and modernly. The feedback from teaching colleagues, parents, and administration was affirmative. A couple student brought in literary names I could not recollect; but they are reading and writing – my mantra for this class. We have a great relationship; and if I coach elsewhere, I will double as a teacher if my family allows such a combination (perhaps on line). I still love in-person interactivity between students and instructors. The emotions and personal feelings are robust; and learning is enhanced as opposed to online courses. We are all students throughout our lives – framed and corrugated by our experiences, emotions, and interests. I do feel I have it decent in North Colorado Springs. Do I want to jump ship while I am prospering emotionally? 

A major sports network revealed themselves today at school and administration asked me if I had time for an interview. Though it is a privacy intrusion, I want to play ball with everyone, under-react, and then determine my course. Burning bridges with attitude, avoidance, or any negative emotions is not the way to move up in our world. Fans, sports media, and frankly other coaches are interested in our offensive and defensive schemes. An advantage on the field is huge; and by the time the opposition has it conquered or adjusted, the game is over. Generally, you will not play this team again until next year with new coaches, players, and overall confusion by the next year opposition’s team. There is considerable change within a school year – with players coming and going. Stability in football from Pop Warner to the professional ranks is lacking. Yearly teams require realignment, adding players, plays to fit the new players, new coaches, and difficult adjusting rule changes. The constant is change yearly. Pros face free agency, salary caps, cuts, and injuries. College football has evolved into pro football with players switching on a whim with money, position competition, and loss of scholarships. High school boundary requirements are a joke- because players move into other homes, lie about residency, and ask for hardship. Pop Warner is an arms race to the best players. We know who they are. 

After my last English – Literature class, some prominent sports writers and media entered my office with a list of modifying adjectives on the board. The sports media staff had not witnessed these primordial English lessons for years. They loved it as we discussed how to write and what to read. I informed them that the road to success was through the English language. They all agreed and wanted to discuss the next chalk board of great writers listed – many writers respected these incredibly gifted and hard-working authors. Our culture including football was dependent upon the writers listed; and many more unlisted. I discussed how media related to the popularity of sports and football. Since the Red Barber announcing of the Brooklyn Dodgers occurred initially a century ago, we have had a slew of fabulous announcers because of the communicative and wonderful English language. My teacher Mrs. Collins slapped up on the back of the wrist if we missed a descriptive pronoun; and we would be staying after school to correctly rewrite the sentence on the backboard with 50 repetitions. 

Finally, we arrived at football schemes. I revealed my playbook and showed them some X and Os on the blackboard without iPhone pictures. They were amazed and living the varying pro and college sets on offense and defense – using standard and varied schemes. The media folks loved the “Carpet-Bombing” 2 QB attack. I explained that double bootlegs properly performed easily confused our own team and coaches. The play worked when I did not know which back had the ball. Many questions arose regarding timing, blitz preparation, and fumbles with ball handling. I stated that many great offenses in prior years (Barry Switzer’s Oklahoma wishbone attack) had 7 strings of offense sprinting plays with handoffs, pitches, passes, double reverses, and misdirects. This evolved over 2 hours with coaching and players no dropping a ball. Thus, ball security is number 1; and not handling a ball constantly can lead to a fumble. Our players handle balls walking into school. Blitzes are called by the QB with an immediate shift to the opposite side with an option run, pass, or reverse if the blitz corner, safety, or linebacker cuts deep into the backfield. If there is a clear path for 5-10 yards, our QB always takes that route. I expect zero fumbles per game. If we fumble; it is all hands-on deck to recover. We will win games statistically with no fumbles, carpet bombing QBs, and smart play. One play decides a game on offense, defense, or special teams. The media left with great articles. I was cool. 

Mandy’s date after the frosh date was wonderful. Her brown eyes sparkled alongside her Jewish nose features, and long brown hair. We talked incessantly about her family, Israel, and a touch of football. I tried to center the conversation about her to reveal true interest. Smitty remarked frequently that the foibles of the girl may emanate from her and not social media. Thus, allowing Mandy to talk I will get a full expose of her character, interest in me, and her prior life. She casually discussed the annulment – which impressed myself because it revealed strength. Mandy believed in monogamy; and despite counseling the philandering continued unabated. Sadly, both families elected to end the relationship. It was as if she was never married – a nullity. I know in the Catholic religion it requires faith, money, and connections to obtain an annulment of marriage. I felt sorrow for Mandy as she expressed remorse as families wanting this marriage by parents choosing partners. There was never any love and caring apparently. These mandated partnerships may work to pass down wealth responsibly; but it is not love. Mandy is after a true partner, love and caring within the marriage. She wants children. 

I asked her about what she felt about my children. She says they are lovely because she met them at the Tompkins at the original Sunday social. I mentioned that some would consider that baggage; and she replied that others would consider your kids a blessing. That was a remarkable comment. This amazing financial whiz who has been everything from head cheerleader and prom queen to sorority president and working NFL finances is wanting motherhood. Becoming a mom for many trumps life. This is serious stuff. At the end while we are eating cold food (because we discussed everything), an assistant coach from Castle Rock walked by and said hello. He was with his wife and kids. We introduced everyone; and he remarked that I was the new genius of football – not just high school. I applauded his work and said thank you. Mandy really liked and respected this coach. She casually mentioned that even within the Broncos organization the “carpet-bombing” attack is discussed. Mandy mentioned that I could monetize my creativity. I followed that religion, family, job, and then everything else was the peck order. She then asked where she stood on the depth chart. I returned that she was near the family (2nd place behind God). She liked that immensely. This girl is serious. I am amazed. 

We left gracefully and decided to meet at my house on Sunday afternoon for supper with our kids. She readily agreed because we would have some time together after both Josh and Jake had early Sunday afternoon birthday parties (back-to-back). She offered to attend; but then remembered she had a ton of work this weekend and could not make the date until 4 PMish. The kids will have returned to neighborhood play and the keen game – where one team guards the goal (a porch or garage), while the other hides and sneakily touches home base. This game goes on for hours until supper is called by a quorum of neighborhood moms. I am in deep over my head with this relationship. My life coach says go with what is comfortable. Apparently, I enjoy Mandy, and I am “comfortable.” Goodnight! 

I awoke in the middle of the night because of a dream. I was sweating and drenched the bed. I was embarrassed; but recollected the dream scenario. I had met Janae at the airport and was informing her about Colorado Springs. She appeared excited. It appeared she had stayed behind in Chicago, recovered from her spreading breast cancer, and was now returning to her family and kids. We talked incessantly from DIA to our driveway; and as I opened her car door, I awoke. I asked myself what all this meant. Years ago, when Sigmund Freud evaluated dreams, they all meant something deep. I still believe that. At least the dreams reflect important matters in your life. Though surreal, during the dream it is live reality television with yourself as the actor. I discovered upon awakening that this was a dream; and Janae dying was my live nightmare. Perhaps I will never recover from grief. I surmise that we all deal with grief; and you just deal with time healing your mind and body. Occupying yourself with your family and friends is critical; that appears for me to blunt myself crying 24/7. Strong football coaches like myself have emotions and cry. I could attend counseling sessions forever; and I would still incur and maintain some periodically erupting melancholic thoughts and fun memories. The suffering Janae incurred with metastatic cancer and bone pain was beyond description. Thankfully, she is in a better place now. 

I need to move on, garner more friends, and establish good relationships. Marrying would require someone extremely special; and I cannot just pretend on dates. Few out age just want to go out for fun. It is working towards a meaningful relationship that is a partnership long-term. I love the idea of establishing a new mom for these three young boys. That is an immense responsibility for a new partner; but perhaps they would love the challenge. Truly loving myself would place them beyond dealing with three kids – not considered baggage (a slang term). Everyone in a marriage has extended family, environment of work, illness, risks of kids’ illness, and financial issues to confront. Marriage is not the LanIt all d of Oz. Though Janae and I loved one another, the Colorado move was a hurdle for myself to overcome after winning a state high school football championship. Why would anyone run away from a highly successful now established program with recruits throughout Illinois wanting to play on your high school football team? I respected and honored Janae’s wishes. That was part of the marriage pact. I was so in love that she could have requested northern Siberia and I would have capitulated. It is hard to go through this dating process again. I get it; but not crazy about having a duty to fall in love, The kids can just deal with having me be both mom and dad. Developing a relationship and partnership is nice; and I am slowly gaining ground. It is tough; because grief is tough. Possibly, Mandy is the right person. Janae’s mom obviously picked her out a litter of professional established Greenfield Village gals who are in my wheelhouse. I was down on Janae’s parents for forcing this relationship stuff; but with age, perhaps they have insight and knowledge that I do not yet possess. Time to fall asleep.